When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
