She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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