summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
