Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
