I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
