It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
