and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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