hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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