Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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