Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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