Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
