If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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