Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
