Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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