the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize