Kiss
Puke
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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