So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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