A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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