hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize