just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
