it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
