you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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