I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
