I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
