yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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