i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
