If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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