I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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