you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
