When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
