Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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