He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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