Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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