I'm going to jail i love you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
