Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize