i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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