is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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