i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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