I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
