Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
