I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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