Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
