That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We are two peas in an std pod
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
