I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize