whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize