we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
as a side note pls kill me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
