No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
