let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
