I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize