Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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