No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He better not be in your backpack
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize