Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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