take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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