Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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